In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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