Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
