my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
no you cant smoke seaweed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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