She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
