I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You left your phone here
Wait...
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