Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize