If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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