You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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