i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
