Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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