We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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