My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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