coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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