Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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