im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
