I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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