I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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