It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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