Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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