when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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