Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
