He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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