Will you blow on my dice?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
