I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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