we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
