she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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