Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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