i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
