I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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