We won't sleep together?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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