I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
