I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
