so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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