Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
