Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
