'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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