I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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