Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
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I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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