just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
