i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
