"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
