Its about making memories worth repressing
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
