i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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