I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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