I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
