Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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