How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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