I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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