I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
