it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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