i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize