That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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