i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
