If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize