We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
operation have a gay friend backfired
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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