I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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