I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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