I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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