i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
