I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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