Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
