why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize