Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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